


Never Empty

by TheSilverField



Series: All Things Ereri! [22]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fingering, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Spoilers, Shameless Smut, Shifter Cancer, Smut, canonverse, emotional smut, light humor, so much fucking, so much fucking angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 00:37:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15919413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilverField/pseuds/TheSilverField
Summary: "Just give me this."





	Never Empty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [attraversiamo19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/attraversiamo19/gifts), [shades_0f_cool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shades_0f_cool/gifts).



> Dedicated to SJ and Julie. Thank you both for the inspiration. I can't thank you enough. <3

The ride over to Eren Jaeger’s residence was quick, but grating. Through the woods behind the former headquarters of the Scout Regiment, Levi couldn’t spur his horse any faster. The longer he was alone with his thoughts, the more his mind ravaged itself with anxiety, the more his chest tightened and ached.

He was a mess.

On the outside, he was just as cold and crass, looking just as empty as every other day that had passed. There was a streak of grey in his hair, shallow lines beginning to appear in the corners of his eyes, but those were the only signs of his aging. He was timeworn, tired, but never empty. Levi felt too much, though he hid it well, to ever be empty.

About a mile or two out, some woods had been cleared to make room for a small property. It wasn’t much, it would never feel like what Levi thought Eren deserved, but it was something. It was home.

It was temporary.

Like countless times before, Levi’s dark silver eyes found just what he was looking for. Eren sat with his legs crossed on the steps leading up to his porch, a book held in between long fingers. Head downcast, wind tousling wild brown hair and hiding eyes that made the ocean weep with envy.

Eren heard him coming, knew it was Levi just by the way the air changed. He smiled, tucking his long hair behind his ears so he could see. So that Levi could see.

“What are you smiling about, Jaeger?” Levi asked lowly as he dismounted his horse and made his way over to the small cabin.

“You came back,” Eren replied with bright eyes, closing his book and staring up at the Captain like he was the moon before he caught himself. He slowly stood to his feet, nodding towards the front door. “I guess I just didn’t expect to see you again so soon. Come on in. I have some tea steeping.”

Eren always had tea steeping. Just in case.

“Thanks.” Levi mumbled gratefully, following Eren inside without a second thought. “You know why I’m here. Weekly checks and what not.”

That was a lie and they both knew it.

“Right. I just… I don’t know. I thought maybe you would have gotten someone else to do it.” Eren shrugged honestly as he prepared them their tea. He knew just how Levi liked it, hands moving from memory and habit. “I’m sure Mikasa would’ve came if you asked. I know how busy you are. You shouldn’t burden yourself with me.”

_You’re so far from a burden,_ Levi thought, but cleared his throat as he took a seat at the small dining table. “Mikasa’s with Jean and Hanji running errands in the Interior.”

Lie. Mikasa had practically tried ripping Levi’s arms off trying to stop him so that she could come instead. It was beginning to worry Levi, how comfortable he was with lying, but he was only doing what he had to.

Eren hummed in response, finally bringing Levi his tea before heating up some leftover stew for the two of them. Silence smothered the atmosphere, falling over them like a blanket of snow. Levi’s eyes ran over every inch of Eren and his home, taking everything in that he possibly could about the moment.

It was mid-October, the chill of autumn and the oncoming winter beginning to nip through the wind, but Eren’s house reflected who he was. It was warm here. Warm and home. Eren was like an eternal summer, all heat and bright sun, formidable and beautiful when he stormed. Full of life and passion. Full. Never empty.

Levi came back down to earth when Eren set a bowl in front of him, blinking himself back to his senses. Eren sat across from him now, his hair pulled back into a messy bun, though a few strands fell into his face. Levi wanted to push them back, to have his fingertips just barely ghost across Eren’s sunkissed skin. To feel summer.

To taste summer.

“How is everyone?” Eren asked suddenly, startling Levi out of his thoughts. “I don’t want any politics right now. I just want to know how everyone is doing. Are they happy? Are they safe for now?”

Levi thought over the question as he started eating and sipping at his tea. “They’re alright. They miss you, but everyone seems happy enough. I think Jean misses you more than anyone.”

Eren’s laugh filled every empty place in the small cabin and Levi’s heart, making warmth spread even further inside. Levi hadn’t heard Eren laugh like that in a long time. “I don’t think you realize just how funny you are, Captain.”

“On the contrary,” Levi continued, smirking. “I’m being serious. Jean’s so bored without you around we could nail him to the wall.”

Levi smiled briefly when Eren laughed again, but he forced it away as quick as it came.

They sat and ate in silence, finishing their food and tea slowly, enjoying each other’s company as they so often did. Once they were done with their meal, they moved around each other easily. Cleaning up their plates and washing them together, moving to the living room to lounge on the small loveseat and talk.

“Let me ask you something.” Eren said suddenly again, but Levi was expecting it this time.

Levi turned his gaze to the nearby window, finding stars twinkling behind dark clouds. “Is that a request or an order? Don’t forget your place.”

“I haven’t forgotten my place. You’d never let me.” Eren teased, pulling his legs up to his chest. The fear and nerves to speak up in front of his Captain was long buried under years of nurturing a bond and trust no one could deny. “I just want to know why you keep lying to me.”

Levi’s gaze stayed trained on the stars hanging over them, his face slack, but his shoulders tensed. “What are you talking about, Jaeger? Has being all alone out here made you insane? We don’t lie to each other.”

The slight bite in Levi’s empty tone made Eren flinch, but he knew better. Levi was never empty. “Exactly my point, Captain. We don’t lie to each other, so why are you lying to me? You know I can tell, right?” Eren’s voice was shaking now, resolve wavering under the pressure of so many emotions. “I can tell that you’re lying about the weekly checks. And Mikasa would kill before she went so far away from me, orders be damned. Why are you lying? Why do you come to see me?”

Levi could feel himself beginning to boil over, summer heat becoming too hot to stand. “Don’t make me say it, Eren. God knows we’ve hurt enough already.”

"Levi, please. I..." Eren's heart was pounding against his ribs, his stomach twisting into knots. He took a deep breath to prepare himself to speak again, his voice thin and cracking. "I don't have much time left."

He was still the boy with emotions deep and loud, never empty. He had grown into such a fine man. A man Levi easily fell in love with, though he hardly noticed when. It was a gentle change in the atmosphere, leaving him breathless. Never empty.

"I know." Levi replied, expressionless, betrayed by a voice thick with regret. "That's why I can't do this."

Eren felt his chest collapsing, felt his entire being crumbling to dust. “Say it.”

“No,” Levi snapped, then softened his voice again after taking a deep breath. “No, Eren. I can’t.”

“Levi,” Eren whispered breathlessly, the air feeling too thin to breathe. His voice pulled at Levi’s heart, their gazes finally meeting again. “Please just give me this.”

Levi had seen Eren cry before, had heard his voice when life was too much and tried to steal it away. He had heard it crack and lose life, lose hope, but he had never heard it like this. For a moment, only one small second, Levi thought he was going to cry too. Nothing had ever felt this way, had ever hurt so much.

It was such an empty, hopeless feeling.

But Levi and Eren, together, were never empty.

“Say it, Levi.” Eren begged, nearly sounding desperate. “Just give me this. Give me this moment. This feeling. Please, just… Just give me this and say it.”

Levi couldn’t take it anymore. His heart was hammering, his head clouded with desire. He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t handle the thought of never touching, never tasting, never feeling. It was too empty. Levi reached towards Eren, his fingertips brushing against the apples of his cheeks, wiping away his tears. His thumb lightly swept along his bottom lip, their eyes never moving off of one another.

“Eren, I…” _I can’t do this. I can’t do this to him. To myself._ “I…”

“I love you, Levi.” Eren wept, leaning his face into his Captain’s palm, kissing at his wrist. “I’m sorry, but I have to. I have to say it, even if you can’t. Even if you _don’t_. I love you, Levi. I love you so much.”

Levi’s eyes shut tight, his head falling to rest against Eren’s chest. Warm arms wrapped around his waist. Suddenly, it was summer. “I love you too, Eren. I do, I love you. I’m sorry.”

Eren shook his head, tightening his embrace around Levi. “Don’t you apologize, you hear me? Don’t you dare.” he breathed heartbrokenly, though he couldn’t hide his weak smile. “No matter what, I love you. Just… Just give me this. Give this to yourself. With whatever time I have left, let me be enough to make you stay. Let me make you happy, and you do the same for me. Let’s just be together _now_ and not worry about whatever happens tomorrow. Let me be enough, for once.”

The words were like taking a knife to the chest. Levi was not only watching Eren die, but he was killing himself over this. Over this boy he watched grow into a man. Such a handsome, selfless, caring man. It was murder, but it was worth it. When he opened his eyes to once again look into Eren’s, to peek at his soul, he found them empty.

Levi would die before he ever let Eren feel empty.

“Eren,” Levi’s voice was so soft and quiet it was nearly inaudible, but it still felt like too much for this moment. “You have always been enough.”

Their lips pressed together and they never wished to part. It felt too much like sweet summertime, like home. It was hurried yet patient, devouring. Levi felt himself shifting, licking his way into Eren’s mouth as he climbed into his lap, straddling his hips. Eren’s hands were fierce in running over every inch, memorizing and mesmerizing. He grabbed each of Levi’s thighs and lifted, keeping his lover wrapped around him as they made their way to the bedroom blindly.

The kiss slowed and deepened as Eren laid them down, nipping at Levi’s lips as he fumbled with his pants. They parted long enough to strip themselves down, their bodies reuniting in mere seconds. Both men were touch-starved, but took their time in teasing touches and lingering love bites. Eren sat up again to look at Levi beneath him, his eyes hungrily eating up the sight.

“Just give me this,” Levi whispered wistfully, panting and impatient, repeating Eren’s words from just minutes before. “Give me this. Give me this moment. This feeling. Give me you. Just give us this.”

Eren thought his heart must be melting, but he didn’t let that slow him down. He reached down to take both of their cocks in his hand, stroking them both until they were dripping. “ _Ah, Levi. Let me make you feel good._ ” he moaned, thumbing at their weeping tips and throwing his head back as the sounds leaving Levi’s lips were driving him crazy.

Levi’s hips were rolling, shivers shooting down his spine as Eren’s touch made him wild. “ _Eren, please. I’m your’s. Do whatever you want._ ” His voice was a purr as his hands slid up Eren’s abs and chest, appreciating the feeling of his skin before pulling Eren down for another kiss.

They moaned into each other’s mouths, fucking Eren’s hands as Levi’s attacked his lover’s nipples. He rubbed at the hard nubs, clawed at them, licking up the whimpers and sighs that Eren released. For a while, they were content like that. Content with just touching, with kissing each other like the world was about to end. Because, for them, it would. Their world would be ending soon.

They only had this. This moment. This feeling.

Contentment wasn’t enough. They needed more. More, more, _more._

Eren pulled away again, making both of them whine with needy desire, but with good intention. He leaned over to the bedside table, fiddling inside one of the drawers and cursing himself until he finally found what he needed. When he came back to Levi, his hands were drenched in oil, glistening and dripping onto the sheets below them. One hand went back to fisting their cocks, while the other teasingly circled Levi’s ass.

“ _Oh_ _fuck, Eren. That’s good. So fucking good._ ” Levi keened, writhing and aching for more. “ _Just fuck me already. Please._ ”

Eren swooned, his lips pulling into a wide grin as he bent to nip and suck at Levi’s throat and chest. “ _You have such good manners, Levi. So many compliments and even saying please. Such a good Captain._ ” he praised, rewarding Levi by slipping one finger inside.

“ _Fuuuck, Eren. Mmm, s’good._ ” Levi moaned as his eyes fluttered shut, reveling in the feeling of being fingered open. “ _More,”_ he demanded, nearly crying out when Eren obliged by adding two more. “ _Fuck yes. Yes, Eren.”_

“ _I’m happy it feels good, Captain. You_ know _I just live to serve and please you_ .” Eren chuckled throatily, licking at Levi’s nipples as he fucked him with his fingers. “ _Are you ready?”_

Levi nodded dreamily, finding himself completely speechless as he was bathed in ecstasy. He whimpered and whined when Eren removed his fingers, feeling too open, too empty.

Eren would be damned if he let Levi feel so empty for too long.

“ _Eren, fuck. Please.”_ Levi keened brokenly, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “ _Please, just give me this.”_

Eren couldn’t, and wouldn’t, refuse. “ _Yes sir_ ,” he smirked, spreading Levi’s legs to line himself up before slowly, gently, pressing in until they were skin to skin. “ _Fuck. Levi, oh fuck. You feel so good. Mmm.”_

Levi moaned at the sensation of being filled once again, eating up the praise as if he were starving for it. “ _Eren. Yes, fuck, Eren. More. Give me more. Fill me up.”_

Eren smiled as he pressed his lips lovingly to Levi’s, bringing their hands up to lace their fingers together. Having given Levi a moment to get used to the stretch, he nodded and pulled out until only the tip remained, then thrusted in deeper. It didn’t take long until they were panting, pressed together so tight there was no room left to breathe. Who needs air when you have everything you need in your arms?

“ _Fuck. Fuck, Levi, you’re so beautiful. So good for me. Ah ahhh, so perfect.”_ Eren purred, feeling heat coil in the pit of his stomach with every moan he devoured.

“ _Eren, ah. I… Mmm.”_ Levi locked his eyes on Eren’s, feeling himself nearing the edge. If he was so open already, the least he could do was say it first this time. “ _I’m your’s. I love you.”_

Eren smiled bigger than he ever had, his eyes bright and full of summer. Full. Never empty. “ _I love you too, Levi. Fuck, I love you so much.”_

Levi’s back arched almost painfully when Eren found the bundle of nerves that sent him screaming out in pleasure, moving his hands from Eren’s to tangle his fingers into his already messy bun. “ _Right there! Oh, Eren! Right there! More!”_ he cried wantonly, hips rolling upwards to gain even more friction on his aching cock.

Eren gripped his shoulders, kissing any part of Levi his lips could find. “ _Anything for you, my darling.”_ he whispered, finding his lover’s sweet spot again to exploit it.

Levi didn’t last very much longer, Eren’s name soft as rose petals on his lips as he came. Eren wasn’t far after him, Levi’s clenching around him and how beautiful he was while coming quickly getting the best of him. He cried out, riding out their orgasms until they were both boneless and bundled warmly in each other’s arms.

“That was incredible.” Levi said breathlessly, kissing Eren’s chest, right over his heart. “You’re incredible, Eren.”

“So stay with me.” Eren whispered fearfully, his tone a drastic change from just moments ago. He had been so confident, so overcome with passion, while they were making love that he had forgotten his fears. If only for a moment. But the truth was that he was terrified. Terrified of what he might do while alone.

Levi leaned away to make Eren meet his eyes and he could see it. He could see the fear as clearly as he could see the dawn of a new day creeping in the horizon. Bringing up a hand to gently caress Eren’s cheek, Levi thought what it must be like to be him. Alone in the woods, friends and family miles away, finally getting a taste of freedom, but at what price? Then he thought about what it must be like to live with Eren. To get to wake up and see something as beautiful as a summer sky. To get to touch and kiss and make love whenever they pleased without fear of getting caught. To live here, in a real home, with Eren.

An eternal summer.

Eren’s eyes were begging, so afraid. _Let me be enough to make you stay,_ he seemed to silently scream. _Just give me this._

_You’ve always been enough,_ he thought.

“Fine,” Levi finally replied, feeling as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “I’ll stay with you.”

Eren smiled sadly, kissing Levi’s forehead before letting his eyes flutter closed. A vow was formed between them, wordless and powerful, engraved on their souls where two rings couldn’t reach. It wouldn’t matter, wouldn’t make a difference if it were on paper or not. They belonged together, to each other, forever.

The heat of summer was always worth going through a harsh winter.

_‘Til death do us part._


End file.
